Norman Gunston

As part of the 50-year anniversary of Local Media (parent company of The Local Paper), during the summer break, we are looking back at some of our interviews over the past half-century.

This is Ash Long’s interview from 44 years ago, 1975, with TV star Norman Gunston (and actor Garry McDonald):

Australia had an unlikely TV star and Gold Logie winner in Norman Gunston in 1975.

The Gunston character first appeared as a minor character to appear in a single sketch in the second series of the cult Australian TV comedy series The Aunty Jack Show in 1973.

Cast member Garry McDonald portrayed Gunston as a dull and talentless local TV reporter from the industrial city of Wollongong.

Gunston evolved to become the unlikely host of his own national TV variety program, The Norman Gunston Show, which premiered with a live broadcast on ABC television on May 18, 1975.

He satirised parochial Australian culture, media “personalities” and egocentric talk show hosts.

In the June 20, 1975, issue of Farrago, I interviewed both Gunston and Mc-Donald.

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“Where else in one up-tempo fact-packed half-hour will you find fabulous prizes, sin gers who KNOW the value of a well-placed heavy-lidded facial gesture, essential consumer information, sizzling clinically funny business technqiues boldly explained and exposed?

“All this plus an anchor man who’s taken Australian cretins by storm. Spoonfeed your mind – watch me!

These are the words of the hootest property on Australian ‘Tonight’ show television, Mr Norman Gunston.

The man behind Norman Gunston, Garry McDonald offered Farrago an interview at his Bellevue Hill home – the South Yarra of Sydney.

Despite the contrast of a well and softly spoken actor there are still traces of Norm around his giant white home. For instance, “although the neighbours mind a bit”, Garry grows vegetables and has bantams running around the front garden.

Farrago interviewed both men. (Norman was intrigued that we did an interview with ‘Mr’ Ernie Sigley, and was too happy to answer much the same questions – so the readers could compare Gold Logie winners).

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How did Norman Gunston get into show business?
It’s always having a lively imagination.
For instance, my bedroom is near the front door and sometimes I’d hear a knock on the door and I’d think that there was somebody there, but more often than not it was the wind or the dog scratching himself.
So i’m keyeed up for that – having a lively imagination.
What I used to do was – in the early days – was to have slide nights at home and I used to narrate them.
This didn’t go over too well, so we used to have ‘bring your own’ slide nights where people brought their own slides and I used to narrate them.
This took off extremely well and I one once for a ‘bring your own’ party that was a pre-wedding party, and unfortunately the slides were of an offensive nature, and the police raided the party confiscating the slides and drinking all the beer.
From then I went on to do guided tours of the Port Kem-bla Steel Works: the highlight being the revolving canteen up there. And, of course, there were my ‘Echidna’ tours of the holy spots of Wollongong hosted by rebel priest, Father Snow McGeorge – quite famous.
It wasn’t until I opened up my crystal pirate radio station that I was started getting into show business.
You see what actually happened wshen Mum married Uncle Remo – I was 14 and going to sit for the intermediate the next year … I decided to drop out – Mum decied to go over to Malta to live, she left Barry and myself a year’s supply of sliced bread and enough tea as you could shake your fist at.
I was probably lucky for not only did we have a year’s food there, they were also running a series in the sliced bread then of ‘How to play the Harmonica in five easy lessons’,
Thank heavens for that, because that was another string to my knot, and I think that was probably the big break into show business.
Unfortunately, I only came across four of the five easy lessons – I never came across the fifth.
If anyone reading this article – I have put out the call before – if they had the fifth lesson, I’d really appreciate it … with or without the sliced bread.
That was one of the highlights of my life: learning to play the harmonica made the trend towards showbiz.
I think where I started up my own pop band – ‘Ike and Tina Fitter and Turner’ – that was actually a whole lot of kids from the blood research unit at Wollongong Hospital.

You’re a Wollongong boy, are you?
Yeh. Actually I was also freelancing in anothe group from the blood research unit, ‘Tex Whitey Smith and the Bleeders’.
‘Ike and Tina Fitter and Turner’ was my own band.
Brother Barry was in the band then you know. But he started to get interested in the Mahariji – you know the Mahariji bloke – so he went over to Nepal to become a professional blood donor because it was a more spiritual way of life and paid much better than the band.

What special talent would you have for television?
I am extremely talented – so versatile. From my background, of course, talking to people, showing highspotsin Wollongong … I have this ability to chat to people.
There was an unfortunate time when I actually did lose a tour. I was taking over the revolving canteen, but that’s all in the past.
Then being able to play an instrument and sing – not at the same time, although I am working on that.

What would you classify yourself as – singer, comedian, interviewer … ?
Multi-media personality. I think my comedy is one ofg the things that really gets the show going. I don’t get the chance to do a comedy spot very often.
I do the ones that the viewers send in. I think they’re a real highlight. But also I think my form of comedy is terribly fresh and original.
I mean how many stand-up comedians do you see doing riddles these days? Not many!
This is a comedy field that is sadly neglected. Knock Knock?

Who’s there?
Winston.

Winston Who?
Oh no, I’m sorry, can we start again? Knock Knock?

Who’s there?
Sir Winston.

Sir Winston Who?
So you’ve forgotten already. See. That’s more of an egghead. I thought the university students would like that.
A lot of people wouldn’t know who Sir Winston Fairfax was. I think that was his name.

Would you say that a ‘Tonight’ show on the ABC would be as far as you could go on Australian TV? Or have you got a greater ambition?
Oh no, I have a greater ambition. I think when the TV show is over, I will be auditioning for Pot Of Gold. I think that’s my next big step.

What will you do in the three minutes?
Sing and tell riddles.

Would you say that your show is successful?
Yes, it is as successful as it can be on the ABC. Like I said to Mr Jack Mundey last night. Like being a communist and trying to get into Parliament is like being on the ABC and trying to get a gold Logie. I think everything is against you a bit.

Do you think you’ll get the Gold Logie?
Oh I don’t know. I think I deserve it, and if any of those eggheads reading this article, when the time of the year comes around, and they have their TV Week thing, and they don’t know how to fill it in, I’m willing to pay for the postage – if they’re willing to keep that in mind. (Well that’s how the others do it, let’s face it.)

How do your ratings compare with other shows?
This week we came second (last) with Last of the Australians, Six Million Dollar Man came first with 39.

How was your rating?
14. It’s stayed 14 for three weeks. 39 for the Six Million Dollar Man! There’s got to be something done about it, I don’t know. Maybe, my show isn’t boring and stupid enough. If I can just get it down to the rally mundane level.

That’s who you’re aiming at?
Oh yeh, if I get it really moronic.

How are your ratings in Melbourne?
Five. That was pretty spectacular don’t you reckon? Five! You could get more if you just put a moustache on the test pattern.
All the viewers would have heard these comments already, last night. I mean, your listeners, your readers – I keep forgetting we’re writing this.
I’m thinking of writing too! C-A-H-I-R-D-S to Tonight Shows. It’s the industry magazine on ‘Tonight’ shows.

Is that run by your friends, the Fairfaxes?
Oh no, a Frenchman. I don’t have to sleep with anyone to get the thing done, or anything like that.Does your theme song have any special significance?
I Who Have Nothing. Yes, it’s a song that means a great deal to me even though I’m getting pretty sick and tired of it now. I don’t think I’ll be singing it until anbout show eleven probably.
The significance of it is the loneliness of a young man who hasn’t got enough money to take his girlfriend out to the pictures or anything.
Is it a true life song for you?
It has a great deal of meaning for me. The same thing used to happen with Karen Vaughan who used to wnat to take me out.
I used to knock her back because she didn’t have enough money to take me out to the pictures. I’m sick of reliving her experiences through the song.

Do you think you develop a special relationship with your viewers?
Well, I try not to. I don’t believe in any funny business and once you get into that element you’re in trouble.

You don’t like the word ‘sex’ on your show?
Beg pardon.

You don’t like the word ‘sex’ on your show?
Um … no. I’m not mad keen on it. I’m a pretty broadminded type of person. I wouldn’t like you to say to use it my home either. Forgive and forget. But I’ll kick you out if you say it again.

You said that Ernie Sigley speaks about the level of his viewers?
On, I think so, yes. I watched him the other night and I couldn’t understand what he was saying. If he could just take the plum out of his mouth.
That’s the thing. He’s not fooling anyone, we all know he’s got a private school education.
This is a dead giveaway, no one wants to know someone with a private school education.

You make a great deal of hand gestures?
Oh yes, a great deal. I think this was the success with the interview, with Warren Beatty. I could see through that language barrier.

What type of person watches The Norman Gunston Show?
Well, I think mainly it’s the simple and the simple-at-heart. Children and the basic intelligence of a chimpanzee. We get a lot of fan letters, apparently they show it at the zoo.
When the ABC got me, that’s the audience they wanted. They said “Why get a cretin to do a moron’s job?” so they hired me.

Is it a script written show, or do you do it ad lib?
Oh no, it’s a written show, not all. Who are you asking?

Norman.
Yes, this is a totally ad lib show.

Turning to some of the features of your show … you were cordial and hot food. What is the purpose of that?
I think people at 7.30 usually eat. It’s terrible bringing out those people for interviews and not letting eat.
People at home are eating, and just as we try to bring our living room into their living room, we try at 7.30 to bring our dining room into their dining room.

It makes your guests at ease, does it?
I think so and it makes the people at ease at home. They tink “Oh yes, we’re all at ease”. The cordial … I try to serve a nice cordial. The one I’ve been serving recntly, I put down in the early 50s, and it’s a fine vintage cordial.

Norman’s Dreamtime? You have fun doing that?
Oh yes. I love children and animals. That should really get them going. You have to love children and animals to be a television personality. And I think the kids love me … I think it seems pretty obvious they take a shine to me.

You haven’t got a wheel on the show?
No, we did use to have a wheel and barrel and on the other side of it had the pictures of the Tonight show hosts; Mr Graham Kennedy, Mr Ernie sigley, Mr Jimmy Hannan and depending on who the arrow went to you got the prize.
But we don’t give out big prizes anymore. We don’t like to make it hard. Look, I was watching the Mr Ernie Sigley Program the other day and the woman was just about to win a car and he asked her – who could be expected to answer this question – and he asked her “What is the capital of Egypt, it starts with C?” Now who could have answered, no one!
That’s ridiculous. So we’ve taken the wheel away. I think the woman would have had difficulty answering her own name on television – it is nerve wracking for the general public.

Do you find it nerve-wrecking?
No I don’t. I’m a multi-media personality. But the general public do.

Multi-media personalities … they usually get cigarette ads?
Yes they do, and I’m working on it. I’m putting in an hour’s practice every morning. Now i can nearly do the drawback. I can do the Scotch drawback. Let’s face it, there’s not many of those people that can do it. This is what I think it bad about cigarette commercials.
Now I’m speaking straight off teh cuff now, I’m being honest. I think there should be more professionalism in cigarette ads. They are using amateurs, I’m going to start up a cigarette smokers’ union, and you’ve got to be a member of the union now – you have the show your card before you can get a cigarette ad.
Now look, a Benson and Hedges ad instance. Mr Stuart Wagstaff – do you ever see him blow smoke rings or do a Scotch drawback, or put the cigarette in his mouth back the front? No, you never do. He can’t do any of those things. That’s what a real smoker should be able to do.

Wouldn’t you consider smoking unhealthy?
Oh no, you’ve got to do a few things now to get a Gold Logie. Life isn’t that easy.

Do you think it might have a bad influence on your viewers?
No. I think it would boost the ratings astronomically.

Does Norman drink?
Yes, I down them. When I get home from work, the first thing I like to do is rip off a few scabs off a few tubes of cordial.

What type of run have you been having with the newspaper critics?
You want to know about my newspaper run? I do that usually Monday to Saturday.
I do a run in the morning, that’s usually just delivering to the homes.
In the afternoon, I’ve got a spot in Crown St, Wollon-gong just outside the Wollongong Hotel. Is that what you meant?

No. Have you been having any comments within the newspapers about you show?
Oh, I don’t read them. I just sell them. There’s one thing to be said about the afternoon newspapers up here, it’s after 12 o’clock they wake up to the fact that Australia is filled with cretins. I usually just read the comics and fill in the quick crossword.

How much of your private life has been destroyed by your life on television?
I have a terrible problem, you know. I might be sitting in Luigi Fenichelli’s Fish n Chip Shop in South Coromell and having a cup of tea and people come up and souvenir the tea bag.
Before, after it’s been in the tea cup for only five seconds. It’s got to be in for at least 10.
Then they expect you to autograph it and everything.

Is it a nuisance?
Oh yes, it’s a terrible nuisance.

Do you see you as a symbol of ‘funny business’?
A ‘funny business’ symbol? Yes, I think they do. I’m getting a bit of a reputation as a ‘super stud’, I’m going in to that and soon as I find out what it’s means I’ll be able to give you a few more comments on it.

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My 1975 Farrago interview of Norman Gunston, was accompanied with a chat with actor Garry Mc-Donald:

Your history in television? You were with Aunty Jack?
Yeh, I loved it.
The first thing I ever did on television, was You Can’t See Around Corners.
Apparently I used my hands too much, which is now the reason for my big success.
Then I did the Can’t See Round Corners film, a Hunter which I was dreadful in, and then I didn’t do any television for years.

What acting were you doing?
Bits and pieces. Terra Australis; a revue Jim Sharman had devised at the James Street Theatre, And a small part in King Lear at the Old Tote and then toured all around New South Wales.
I was getting this terrible habit, I had this real small part, of drinking during the run of the show because there were some heavy drinkers in the cast.
At one stage, I’d come off the stage and I get a bit …… and I had to lie down before I went on again.
Some other guy was on the tour with us and he was on to some chemist to give us some methadine, well it was weak methadine.
And I was used to sit on the bus talking my head off allday.
I was on this bus going from place to place all day, and I was playing the harmonica nonb-stop, driving the other people mad.
I was sitting in this restaurant in Wagga, and people would say “What’s wrong with him?” and you’d say “Nothing, nothing, nothing.”
Also, I must have made a real fool of myself, I remember asking this nurse in Wagga or somewhere if she could get me any Panadol because I heard they gave you a good buzz if you smoked them.
I didn’t know what Panadol was, and she said that she had tons of it, and was I sure that was what I wanted.
There I was spotting them them on the ends of cigarettes, trying to suck them through a biro.
And I found out they were like Aspro. If I had’ve put them in my Coke it might have been better.

How did the Norman Gunston Show start – as an extension of Aunty Jack?
Not really. Grahame (Bond) was talking about doing an interview thing, a long time ago – about Len and Ron doing an interview thing.
At one stage, I wanted to do a What’s On In Wollongong every week and put in the five minutes before the news.
And he was talking about a Len and ron interview, and Len and Ron would get someone like Robert Help-mann and they’d do a bit of the “I reckon he’s a bit … don’t you?” type of thing. It wouldn’t work because it’s too nasty.
That was when we first started talking about using imaginary characters.
They were talking about doing a Tonight show, they were talking about doing a Country and Western Show and John Laws had done a pilot for one.
And then they thought why not get the ultimate Tonight show host, people like Sigley, they’re really … terrific, if only we could emulate their shows!

Is the ABC financing worthwhile?
Well, the commercial channels wouldn’t have done it! They wouldn’t have done Aunty Jack! We talked at one stage about going over to a commercial channel, but jeez! they way they want you to compromise.
Because you don’t compromise in the beginning, is the reason why you get the following.
This is thing about the commercial channels – it’s all to be churned out to the morno – the lowest common denominator.
So you get nothing – no quality. Not that quality is the b-all and end-all, but you just get bland shows.

How the show a limited period for running 13 weeks?
Nine weeks. That’s how long the slot was. If the show is successful, we do another six, but I would like to stop at nine. That’s why Hogan does one a month … it’s a good idea.

What happens to Norman Gunston after that? Do he fade into obscurity?
I hope not. I think what we’ll do is freelance him – not necessarily to commercial channels – but to do things like cover wresting matches and things like that.
It’s like the Double-J thing.
We used to just talk on a three hour program wwe had on the rock station up here.
We played record and chatted. Norman had a section. Kev Kavanagh had one, Miss McKinley, Wal Sullivan – the man across the road who keeps racing snails, Professor Duncan Chambers.
We sit there for about three hours and laugh a lot and come up with about four sketches.
There was a hospital hour: “This is Norman Gunston and the Hospital Hour. Today our hosts are the patients and staff of the Illawarra Doll’s hospital.”
And all that type of shit. You come up with a lot of stuff that bombs.
But it’s like the TV show – they know it’s live – it’s part of the excitement, they know yhou’re trying all types of things.

Do you find Norman is part of yourself now?
Oh yeh, I’ve being doing Norman since I was about 15.

Where does the name come from?
It does come from someone, but I’d rather not say because of trouble.

Do you think Norman Gunston is becoming a cult figure?
Oh yeh!